Because marriage is an ever-evolving experience, we constantly shift, change, love harder, love less, and in some cases, start over. In It’s No Secret, a new feature, The Times highlights couples who share thoughts about commitment and what they have learned about themselves and each other along the way.
WHO Debi Mazar, 53, and Gabriele Corcos, 44. They were married March 16, 2002, in the backyard of the couple’s former home in Los Angeles. The actress Ellen Burstyn was their officiant. Ms. Mazar and Mr. Corcos live in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, with their two daughters.
OCCUPATIONS She is an actress and producer; he is a producer and chef. He owns the Tuscan Gun, a cafe in Brooklyn. Together, they are cookbook authors, including their latest, “Super Tuscan.”
THEIR MARRIAGE 15 years, 6 months and counting.
Through the Years
In the summer of 2001, Debi Mazar was visiting a pianist friend in Florence, Italy. Her flight was delayed three times. When she finally arrived at her host’s home, she met Gabriele Corcos, a good-looking musician who, when he walked through the door, “looked like sun rays were coming out of his head and he emanated happiness,” said Ms. Mazar, a Queens-born actress best known for her roles in “Goodfellas,” “Entourage” and “Younger.”
The following night, both arrived at a party the friend was throwing, who sat them next to each other. “He asked if I wanted to get some cigarettes,” Ms. Mazar said. “We sat on the steps of this 12th-century church for two hours. When we went back to the party, he turned to me and said, ‘You’re fantastic. We should have kids together.’ ” And they did. Less than a year later they were married, had relocated to Los Angeles and Ms. Mazar was pregnant with their first child.
What Have They Learned?
Ms. Mazar “To compromise, be patient, what battles to fight, how to cook better, what it is to feel true love and want to die for someone. There’s no profound wake-up call. I’m not the easiest person to live with, but neither is he. I’m a control freak, and my husband has a military precision to him. Sharing space is challenging. I had to learn to let go on the small details. If he throws his jeans on the back of a chair, who cares. At the end of the day none of it matters. The thing that does is being on the same page when you parent children. There’s no book on how to grow these people. I learned how to be myself with him. I’ve never been that trustful of people in general, and I learned I could trust someone. He’s helped me grow while making me a better person. He makes me feel beautiful during my most down times. We make the effort to have a good sex life, to keep it fun, but mostly to laugh. I can tell him anything, but I don’t think he needs to know everything. You have to create some mystery. Let him guess what’s under my clothes. We really are a team, as corny as it sounds. We’re on our own personal journeys, but they collide together. With him I’m able to see the future.”
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